


Air of my Life

by Sunshinemage



Series: Dirvhenan Worldstate - Random Drabbles [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dirvhenan Worldstate, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 12:50:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10278506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshinemage/pseuds/Sunshinemage
Summary: Memories aren’t just memories. They might be brief flashes in one’s mind, glimpses into a happier past, but it doesn’t mean that they never were alive. And it certainly doesn’t mean that they were alive in vain.- Val Royeaux, 9:66 Dragon -





	

**T** he Grand Cathedral of Val Royeaux stands tall, its golden spires shining under the summer sun. The day was young still, but the city was already busy, laughter echoing in the streets, flowery aromas as well as freshly baked goods scents filling the air. People of all ages were decorating every window, every door, every lamppost with ribbons and coloured paper cranes. Banners of the most important noble houses in Orlais were being hanged across the streets.  
A group of Dalish elves, easily recognisable by the vallaslin on their faces and their proud stance, was slowly marching on. They were all either clan Keepers or Firsts from all around Thedas. They had smiles on their faces and hope in their eyes. Elves from the alienage were following them, distributing flowers and fruits of all kinds to everyone. They were much more modestly dressed than the Dalish, but their clothes were brightly coloured, a perfect match for the extravagance of the Capital.

It was an important day. A day of negotiations. And hopefully, in the end, a day of celebration.

Clad in bright orange Dalish robes and magic staff in hand, Nindarhmen walked purposefully through the enthusiastic crowd, turning his head only to nod and smile at those who greet him. Most of them were elves as well, Dalish or not. Many of them knew who he was, even if they had never met him before this day. Elders warmly welcomed his arrival, children were fascinated by the great white hart walking at his side. A little girl even offered him a simple daisy, its yellow colour matching the gold of his eyes. The child watched in delight as Nin tucked the flower behind his ear and snickered when the elf fondly mussed up her hair.

The Grand Cathedral stands tall, and when he lifted his eyes to take a look at the top of the highest spire, Nin was reminded of the power faith can instill in people.

[ _Blessed are those whose faith remains unshaken, even after all this. I should have known better. I put my faith in the living all too late._ ]

Nindarhmen gently guided his hart towards the three soldiers diligently watching over the Grand Place. Seekers. They saluted him.

"Master Lavellan, Bienvenue à Val-Royeaux. I hope you had a safe journey."

"Thank you, Ser Seeker. The ride was long, yes, but the road was calm. Would you mind keeping an eye on Elia here for me? I shouldn’t be too long, this is just a courtesy meeting."

"Pardon my asking, but aren’t you going to be part of the negotiations?"

Nin chuckled softly.

"I am. But they won’t start until this afternoon. I’ve got time. Would you be so kind?"

The Seeker nodded and took the reigns Nin was holding out.

"Thank you so much, Ser Seeker. I promise she will behave."

Not minding the fleeting glances and quiet whispers following him, Nindarhmen ascended the steps to the Cathedral.

The Grand Cathedral stands tall, but from the inside it seemed even taller. The sun outside made the white stone and marble of the whole building shine and almost glow. As a result, the Cathedral was almost painful to look at, intimidating in the light. But inside, the light was dimmed. It was there, filtering through the stained glasses. But it was gentle and soft, almost shy.

The air was perfumed with myrrh, the slightest sound ricocheted on the stone. Nindarhmen walked on a thick velvet carpet, matching the red and gold drapery that hung from the marble columns.

He felt as if every breath he took could disturb the peace of this place.

A sister guided him through the Hall and finally, Leliana - no, Divine Victoria - was here.

Nin felt a bit like coming home. The Divine’s face was a welcome sight, and Leliana didn’t hold back her smile.

"Nindarhmen. I am glad to see you’re well."

Nin took a step back and bowed.

"Most Holy," he said, trying his best to hide his amusement.

"Will you be doing this everytime you visit me?"

"Everytime the Divine summons me, yes. When I come to visit a friend, of course not."

"You are full of wit today."

"Great things are set in motion, Nightingale! It’s an important day!"

Time’s mark was ever present on Leliana’s features. She looked well, albeit somewhat tired. In her eyes shone the same light as before, a light of faith, devotion, and determination. In this respect, Divine Victoria never ceased to be Leliana.

Nindarhmen smiled fondly at her.

"The past couple of months have been rough and tense for us all. I can’t wait to see these negotiations through."

"Yes, I can’t wait as well. So, and if you allow it, I’ll go straight to why I asked you here early."

They walked together in a large corridor, the walls adorned by dozens of religious paintings with golden frames. Halfway through, they were joined by a well dressed man who introduced himself as Marquis Des Levreaux.

"Marquis, this is Master Nindarhmen Lavellan, who acted as a liaison between the Inquisition and the Dalish elves of Thedas."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, My Lord. It’s -"

"Please. I am no Lord. ‘Master Lavellan’ will suffice."

"Very well, very well. I will go to the heart of the matter if you will. I will be the _médiateur_ during this afternoon’s negotiations. I have been listening to any demands of both sides, and the nobility of Orlais has been quite… vocal, as you can imagine."

Nindarhmen nodded.

"Orlesian nobles tend to be vocal, yes."

"Yes. Whereas the Orlesian nobility has made their demands clear and voiced their concerns, when I went to the representatives of your people, they told me to ask for you. The only demand they voiced was to open the alienage, which we did. The Orlesian nobility had no trouble finding some more demands and terms, so it’s only natural to offer the same opportunity to your people, no? And so I stand before you now to ask about the demands of your people."

"They haven’t changed and there aren’t more, Marquis. Our terms are simple. Our land. A place elves of all Thedas can call home if they wish to do so. Resp-"

A quick glance over the Marquis’ head and Nindarhmen stopped mid-sentence. His eyes shined. Hanging on the wall, framed by gold as well as Dalish inspired drapes, was _[the portrait of Lord Inquisitor Thalon Lavellan](http://ourinquisitorialness.tumblr.com/post/147100308660/lord-inquisitor-thalon-lavellan)_.

Nindarhmen chuckled fondly, stepping closer to the portrait.

"Somehow, I had completely forgotten this was here!"

The Marquis opened his mouth in attempt to get Nin’s attention, but Leliana put a gentle hand on his shoulder, simply smiling at him.

"Give him a moment."

"I humbly beg your pardon, Your Perfection, but we hardly have time to spare. There is anot-"

Nindarhmen spoke without even looking at the Marquis, arms crossed and eyes fixed on the painting.

"Are you really in such a rush? Surely ten minutes aren’t too much of an obstacle for your schedule?"

"N.. no, my Lo- Master Lavellan. But-"

"All good then. Please, allow a lonely elf his eccentricities."

Nindarhmen slowly raised a hand and gently touched the golden frame. Eyes closing, he took a deep breath and let himself feel, as he did when Thalon was still there. He used to feel so much! Every heartbeat echoed in his mind, as loud as the roaring thunder during a storm or as quiet as the footsteps of a cat at night. He used to feel warmth, so much warmth, when Thalon was smiling at him. He used to feel his laughter, his rage, his melancholy, every emotion shook him from the inside.

He used to feel twice alive.  
Now there was only silence when he tried.

Now he felt everything once, and even with all his family and friends who were here for him still, it wasn’t enough.

Nin felt a weight on his chest, and the shadow of a song lodged in his throat. He opened his eyes.

The Lord Inquisitor’s stare was a convincing one.

Nin shook his head and corrected his stance.

[ _I know. ‘Keep singing, child’. I know. For them. You know I won’t let anything happen to them, you know it. I promised you._ ]

Holding both his hands out before him, Nindarhmen created a little orb of light and sent it floating at the top of the portrait.

"Tell me, Marquis, what do you know of him? What have you heard?"

A little taken aback, the Marquis didn’t know what to say. He glanced at Leliana, who encouraged him to answer.

"I… uh… of the, of the Lord Inquisitor, you mean?"

"Yes."

"I… He was… He was a good leader. I only ever heard he was just and noble. I didn’t really… I should probably apologise, Master Lavellan. I mean no disrespect."

"No apology necessary, Marquis. It has been so long, after all. All that remains is the most obvious. The most important traits. The ‘offical’ ones. The holy ones, even. A great leader, an exemplary one. An elf, Herald of another people’s Guide, how could this be? Despite everything, he was Thedas’ saviour, an inspiration to us all."

Leliana took a step closer and put a comforting hand on Nin’s shoulder. The elf kept talking with a clear and unwavering voice, and as he did so, the orb of light shone brighter and brighter, its golden glow illuminating the whole corridor.

"He was compassionate, kind, generous. He never hesitated to make the hard decisions, and always did so without betraying any of his convictions. He always found a way to rise above his doubts, to control his fears. It wasn’t always easy but he did it, and never complained about it. He was just, yes. Honest. He was infuriatingly patient and understanding. He was stubborn, oh yes. But he also knew when to concede. Much like our hunters’ way, the _Vir Bor'assan_ : bending, but never breaking."

Nindarhmen’s eyes never left the portrait. He continued to reminisce, smiling, laughing softly. He painted his words with pride and fondness, even as his eyes were filled with so much melancholy.

"He was the kind of person to sacrifice everything to ensure the safety of his people. He died, but he didn’t live in vain. Never in vain. I will give my all to make sure of that. Thalon was more than the Inquisitor. He was way more. A brother, a husband, a father. And my _nas'falon_. _Ma'sylvun_ , air of my life."

Nin called back the orb of light and cradled it for a moment into his hands. Leliana was close enough to hear him whisper a broken ’ _ar lath ma_ ’ to the painting before turning to face them.

"I apologise for keeping you waiting, Marquis. And I thank you for obliging me."

"I… Master Lavellan. I am deeply sorry for-"

Nin chuckled.

"Fourteen years, Marquis. It’s a long time to be in mourning still, even if it feels like the mourning was never and will never be over. But I thank you."

The Marquis was fidgeting with his clipboard, visibly embarrassed. Nin gave him an amused look and spoke softly.

"My people doesn’t have any more demands. Nor do we have any more terms to add to the negotiations. All we want is our land back. I can assure you, you can go and prepare everything in peace."

"That’s… that’s a relief, truly. If you’re sure."

"I am, yes."

The Marquis took a bow and left Leliana and Nindarhmen alone. Leliana pulled the elf into a hug, startling him a little.

"I am confident this will go well. I made certain of it. Your people will have their land."

"I’m always worried when you mention taking care of anything, Nightingale."

"Divine Victoria does have a lot of resources at her disposal, now, doesn’t she?"

"Please tell me you didn’t bribe anyone for this?"

Leliana laughed.

"No. This is something the Dalish must obtain by themselves. I can only try to make things smoother, I cannot force them."

"Thank you."

"Get some rest. The Orlesian nobility will no doubt be at your throat this afternoon."

"Oh I do not fear them. We do not fear them. After all, _we are the last of the Elvhenan, and never again shall we submit_."

Nindarhmen took his leave, not before giving a last look to the painting. Outside of the Cathedral, the sun was still shining and its light was blinding. He turned to peer at the top of the building once more.

The Grand Cathedral of Val Royeaux stands tall, but not even its highest spire could stand as tall as Thalon did.

**Author's Note:**

> Thalon Lavellan belongs to [@princeofmorley](http://princeofmorley.tumblr.com) (tumblr)  
> Nindarhmen belongs to me (you can find me under the same handle on tumblr)
> 
> Dirvhenan Worldstate is the combined canon of both our OCs.


End file.
